Jingle Bell Jawn #6: 'Christmas' -- Wayne Newton

I don’t know about you, but the first full week after Thanksgiving is always a bit weird to me. The long weekend seems to get everybody hyped up for Christmas but come Monday, I find that my holiday ardor has cooled considerably, and it then takes me another seven to ten days before I just give into the holiday spirit.

Of course, knowing this puts Jingle Bell Jawns in danger. What if I decide I’m just not feeling the Christmas music? Will these entries dry up?

It’s at times like this when I hope that my Mystical Dice of Random Holiday Music toss up a particularly great album to sustain my momentum.

Sadly though, the dice coughed up a Christmas music turkey: Wayne Newton’s 1979 album, Christmas. That was the original title anyway. It’s been repackaged under various other titles, including Christmas in Vegas, since then.

Whatever you call it, Wayne Newton’s Christmas is neither merry nor jolly, despite forays into disco and yacht rock.

Please know this: I do not come here to mock Wayne Newton. I’m a fan, even if my original fandom was highly, highly ironic. I’ve come to appreciate the hyperkinetic arrangements and vocals that are all over Newton’s early albums, and his live albums from that era are a hoot. Plus, “Danke Schoen” is one of most perfect things ever.

So, generally, I come to praise Wayne, not mock him, even when it seems like I’m walking a fine line.

But Christmas is Newton on holiday auto pilot. If you really want to hear Wayne Newton sing holiday tunes, his Songs for a Merry Christmas (1966) is the record to seek out.

Fun fact: Newton, a multi-instrumentalist, plays steel guitar on various songs on this album, though his playing is a bit buried in the mix.

Finally, Wayne Newton’s production company in 1979 was called Waynco. When I typed that word, it was auto-corrected to “Way Cool”, which is hilarious.

Jingle Bell Jawn #6: Christmas – Wayne Newton (1979, Aries II Records).

How Did I Acquire This Album? I don’t know exactly, but I think it was from a local shop, purchased in recent years, long after my Wayne obsession had cooled down.

Does This Album Include a Version of “Jingle Bells”? Yes, except it’s called “Jingle Bell Hustle”.

What’s The Story on This Album? Wayne Newton’s stock was low in 1979. He was no longer that cute kid from the early 1960s, and he was years away from the cult status that Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Ford Fairlane would provide him. He was about to score a minor Top 40 hit (“Years”) in early 1980, but his recording career was stalled.

So why not record yet another Christmas album and see if it’ll stick? Wayne and his collaborators even wrote some new holiday tunes, including one, “It’s the Season”, that sounds an awful lot like future yacht rock classic, “Let Your Love Flow” by the Bellamy Brothers.

There’s also an odd original called “Christmas in the USA”, which sounds like it could potentially be an attempt at social relevance, but turns out to be not much of anything.

And of course, being that it was 1979, it was time for Wayne to ride the disco wave with “Jingle Bell Hustle.”

What Does This Album Mean to Me? Despite my Newton fixation, this album doesn’t really do it for me. It’s an artifact, for sure, but not one I’ll return to often, other than when I need to do the “Jingle Bell Hustle.”

Highlights: “Jingle Bell Hustle”. But also, to be fair, Newton’s opening-track take on “Winter Wonderland” isn’t bad.

Lowlights: “Jingle Bell Hustle”.

Oddities: Wayne and two collaborators are given songwriting credits for “Silent Night”.

How Do I Rate This Album, in Strictly Musical Terms, on a Scale of 1 to 5 Jingle Bells? This is about a 1 out of 5 jingle bells. Maybe a 1.5.

How Do I Rate This Album, in Personal Emotional Resonance (P.E.R), on a Scale of 1 to 5 Partridges in a Pear Tree?0 P.E.R.