The Edge of 57

Tomorrow is my birthday, so tonight I find myself on the edge of 57.

Last year, I dreaded the approach of my birthday, the first with both my parents gone. Looking back, I can see now just how incapacitated I felt, and how little I felt like celebrating the trip around the sun that had just concluded for me.

As this birthday approaches, I’m in a different place, I guess. I am not nearly as stuck in the day-to-day, hour-to-hour sadness that was filling my weeks and months one year ago. Still sad though, sometimes.

Now, I’m feeling more curious about what the coming year can bring me, and what I can bring to the coming year. I’m sensing that, as philosopher Sheryl Crow has noted, “a change would do me good”, and I’m trying to figure out what that change or changes ought to be. I have been witnessing other people going through some changes, often good changes, while I feel like I’ve been in the same mental and emotional place for too long.

Maybe it’s time to shake things up a bit. Not talking about turning my life upside down. Just talking about adopting some new perspectives and seeing where they lead in the next 365 days.

This is me on the edge of 57.

~217~