What Was in Front of Me Then, What Is in Front of Me Now

“Today, I do what’s in front of me now.”

— “In Front of Me Now”, Nada Surf

Two years ago on this date, Donna and I were preparing to head home after a long, adventurous weekend in Maine. We had traveled to our favorite place in the world to celebrate our 30th anniversary, and the trip led us drive further up into Maine then when ever had, ultimately reaching the town of Lubec — the easternmost point in the United States — and, then, even a little bit further north to the fringes of the town of Calais, just across the St. Croix River from Canada.

In addition to having fun, Donna and I had some serious conversations about our recent past — both of our moms had passed away during the 18 months prior to the trip — and our future, which seemed challenging at that point. We knew we needed to make at huge change in our lives, a change that was going to require a series of smaller changes along the way, including getting over our own inertia about it all (mostly my inertia, for the record). What was in front of us that day was scary and we didn’t know how we were going to make it happen

Over the next year, we found out. The big change happened, even as other challenges were emerging. Somehow we managed to make it work, though the process was gut-wrenching and just plain painful at times.

The thing is though, we did it. Here we are now in October 2024. We are approaching the first anniversary of the big change we knew we needed to make, back when we were walking and talking in Acadia National Park, late in the afternoon on our 30th wedding anniversary.

This is in no way meant to be self-congratulatory. Well, maybe a little bit, but ultimately we just did what we had to do. We focused, as Nada Surf advises in the recent, brilliant song, “In Front of Me Now,” on what was in front of us in the moment, and piece-by-piece we got through it.

These days, we know we have new challenges up ahead, and some of them will be daunting, but we also know that we are in a better place now — literally and figuratively — than we used to be.

One of my personal challenges at the moment is that I am feeling tons of creative energy that I don’t know how to corral, that is at least when I’m not taking a nap. This explains why I’m always attempting to set up weekly or daily posts on this website, but I think I need to give myself permission to abandon those arbitrarily deadlines and just try to deal exclusively with what’s in front of me now. For today, that means posting this entry here, and getting ready to give tonight’s Soul Crawl tour at Laurel Hill Cemetery tonight. That is what’s in front of me now, so that’s what I’m going to do.